Stub Review: Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3

Iron Man is back and he brought with him…a serious case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!~

Marvel’s Phase 2 is officially been kicked off and so has the 2013 Summer Box Office. Iron Man 3 is the first Marvel Studios film to come out since last years mega-ultra-super-duper blockbuster The Avengers broke almost every record standing in it’s way to become Marvel’s first ever billion dollar film.

The word of mouth about the box office Iron Man 3 will bring in is already high up there, the film alone has brought in 300 million dollars over seas before even OPENING in the US. Usually I go see these films at their midnight showing, but I don’t know if this was just one rare occurrence or the new standard, but AMC theater was offering not only midnight viewings, but 9pm, 10pm, and 11pm shows for Iron Man 3 in both normal and 3D viewings. I can get behind that.

Ok…to spoil or not to spoil? I’ll put it this way, if you read this review, I wont spoil the BIG stuff in this film that will be talked about for time to come…but I will not fully not speak about some of the big moments of the film. So we begin…

…to party like its 1999. We kick the film off in a throw back to a moment talked about in the first Iron Man film, where we get a cameo of Shaun Toub who played Ho Yinsen. We are also introduced to Dr. Maya Hansen and Aldrich Killian, two people that will soon become the thorn of Tony’s existence for the next two hours.

The basis of Iron Man 3 comes off the excellent comic book arch “Extremis” written by Warren Ellis and illustrated by Adi Granov. The name Adi Granov should sound familiar because its his design that help create the look of Iron Man’s armor over the last three films.

The film shows Tony post-Avengers and more importantly in a PTSD situation where even more like the inspiration of his character, Howard Hughes, he is always in his basement tinkering away at his suits. And we aren’t up to Mark VI or VII anymore…Tony has up to 42 different pieces of armor to play with, his own personal Iron Legion. These suits are keeping him away from his life, away from Pepper, and away from sleeping, as every time Tony puts his head down to a pillow, the images of invading Aliens, chaos, and destruction take over his mind and memories.

I absolutely love the first Iron Man film and feel a bit indifferent for the second film, where I think the focus is unclear and plays more of a film going towards Avengers, than just a stand alone Iron Man film. Iron Man 3 falls somewhere in the middle for me, it plays off of so many great things and characters, Guy Pearce’s role as Killian is the best villain we have had in this franchise since Jeff Bridges role as Obadiah Stane aka the Iron Monger. Pearce plays the role of Killian with such bravado and scene chewing evilness, he comes off as an equal to RDJ’s Tony Stark.

Now the question is why no mention of The Mandarin so far? And well that is a tricky nut to crack in a review that doesn’t want to reveal too much. “The Mandarin” has a fantastic look and his presence in the film for the most part is terrifying for every character that see’s his face pop on their television. The fear of “The Mandarin” is very real amongst the people and especially Tony. The idea of “The Mandarin” is that nobody is safe and nobody can trust in Iron Man or in heroes to truly save them from the evil and destruction he can unleash. How that plays out? And how that all comes to a resolution…you should see for yourself and make up your OWN mind about after seeing the film.

Iron Man 3 is easily a stand a lone film that Iron Man 2 wasn’t and that has a lot to do with Shane Black taking the helms of director and writer from fan favorite Jon Faveru, who still plays Happy Hogan in this film and plays Happy with a lot more vigor and fun, I guess having the pressure of the world off your shoulders helps you revel in the fact that you get to play a comic book character. Both Happy and Pepper have much more to do in this film than they ever had in the previous two, especially Pepper who’s role of now CEO of Stark Industries is more important than just being “Tony Stark’s girlfriend.” Both Gwyneth and her character Pepper Potts get something more to do in Iron Man 3 and take a step up in a much bigger way toward the final act.

Iron Man 3 both delivers and continues the tradition of Marvel putting out their best effort in a post-Avengers world, both figuratively with the marketing of the films and literally with the characters that live in this universe we now come to expect and are anxious to see every summer.

I feel that the big twist of the film is going to polarize the people that see the film and maybe will be the only thing they take away from it, but it shouldn’t be. This is Tony Starks film…and at the end of the film, just like at the end of the first film, Tony helps to clearly inform the audience and himself…”That I am Iron Man.”

I give it an EIGHT out of a TEN, on the scale of film merit and overall quality.

But I also give it a “DON’T BE A PUSSY” out of TEN, on the scale of the great dialogue spoken by RDJ and all the actors in this film. Lot of laughs, lot of great serious, and important moments.

BUT WAIT…It isn’t a Marvel movie….or a Marvel movie review without a post credit scene…

IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED DON’T GO…

…ANY

….FURTHER!~

That pretty image is of a great post-credit scene where we get for the first time in movie history…an actor reprising their role as Bruce Banner. A small cameo from Mark Ruffalo as the not-so jolly green giant, but just Tony’s science buddy.

Stub Review: 42

42

In 1947 he broke the racial barrier in baseball…and in 2012 his film bio broke records at the box office.

The sports film is one of the most interesting film genres there is. Everyone knows about a sport, be it something more American like baseball or football (NFL) or something more worldly like soccer, hockey, or baseball. But to MAKE a great sports film is hard, because you are trying to not only bring in the core fans of that sport, but also the common moviegoer that might of never watched a game of that actual sport in their real lives, but try to make them spend 10 dollars on a fictional/factual film based solely around the sport.

There are great sport films for every sport:

• -Baseball: Major League, The Sandlot, The Natural, Pride of the Yankees, and Field of Dreams.
• -Basketball: He Got Game, Hoosiers, White Men Can’t Jump, and Space Jam.
• -Football: Brian’s Song, Friday Night Lights, The Longest Yard, and Little Giants.
• -Boxing: The Rocky Series (minus Rocky V), Million Dollar Baby, Raging Bull, The Hurricane, and Ali.

Obviously some of those films are more personal pleasures than worldly accepted acclaimed films, but the story still goes, its easier to make a bad sports film than it is to make a good one. One thing that helps is not only a character, but a story that truly matters. Jackie Robinson provides both. He not only is a character of history, but provided one of the most important stories for not only sports, but the history of racism in America.

The film gives us a look at Jackie Robinson’s rookie year. This is rated PG-13, so I automatically thought this film was going to take the ‘Remember The Titans’ approach to racism in non-rated R films, by saying “negro”, “darkie”, or “black” instead of what is the most obvious term used and thrown at Jackie back in the 40’s, nigger. Its hard to say or hard to read, but thankfully the MPAA didn’t make a mistake by censoring this film from using that word throughout the film, because you can’t pretend that Jackie Robinson didn’t hear it every time he stepped to plate or on the field at not only his own home park, but visiting baseball parks around the country.

This film isn’t trying to go too in depth about the state of racism in America at the time, it is simply just showing how Jackie had to survive with his wife and young son while trying to make his way on the diamonds of a ballpark. The film also gives you a very storybook happy ending, one review I read of the film stated that it gives off the idea with one home run, Jackie Robinson ended racism in America, obviously not the case, but for the films sake, it’s a storybook ending to a remarkable rookie season and what would go on to be a Hall of Fame career.

For this film to work you need to be rooting for Jackie from the start and when we first meet him, we easily want to see him succeed to not only his limits but to those that were not allowed for him. I also want to state how enjoyable the entire cast was, not only did Chadwick Boseman make a phenomenal Robinson, Harrison Ford as Branch Rickey, Nicole Behaire as Jackie’s wife, Rachel, and Alan Tudyk as Ben Chapman all do wonderful work in this film portraying all different but important roles to help guide Jackie Robinson to become the man he would be come.

Every year in April, everyone in the MLB wears that number 42 on their back and while this might not be an all encompassing film of his life, 42 gives a great and entertaining look at his first year in the bigs.

I give it an EIGHT out of a TEN, on the scale of film merit and overall quality.

But I also give it a TIP OF THE CAP out of TEN, on the scale of how important Robinson’s role in baseball truly was.

Stub Review: Jurassic Park 3D

Jurassic Park 3D

The most phenomenal film of our short past… becomes the greatest adventure of all time in 3D!

Released originally in 1993, Jurassic Park was not Steven Spielberg’s first blockbuster, far from it, but in some way is maybe one of his most influential blockbusters. I say because I know right after Jurassic Park first come out in the theaters, EVERYONE was talking about dinosaurs at school and on the playground. EVERY kid had a T-Rex lunch box or a t-shirt and when those tie-in Jurassic Park video-games or toys came out, they were very sought after by kids my age.

I know people today who are still very much into dinosaurs and their first reasoning of why they enjoy learning about the extinct creatures in the first place…because of a summer box office film back in the early 90’s.

I think there was no real reason for this to be adapted to 3D at all, just re-release the film to celebrate its 20^th anniversary, because I have to be completely honest and say this film holds up SO well. The plot while still is wildly unlikely to ever happen still gets you excited to think that a Jurassic Park could ACTUALLY happen one day. The dinosaurs, both practical and CGI, are amazing. When you first get a glimpse of that T-Rex in the rain, it is both chilling in a scary and awesome way.

I never read the book that the film is based off, but many talk how amazing it is and even more how bad the follow up sequel to JP, The Lost World is compared to the book. I don’t like the sequels to the Jurassic Park franchise, but the first oen is a classic film that both teaches you a little bit, scares you a little bit, and puts you on a grand adventure that is impossible to double in your real life. Maybe that’s why its looked back upon so fondly, the idea of a amusement park surrounded by dinosaurs is not just something that seems interesting and fun to today’s generation, but an idea that is still in process in our mind set.

Disneyland, Walt Disney World, Universal, Islands of Adventure, and Six Flags are all amusement parks in this country that are always adding to their parks, looking for the new attraction that will bring in millions of people, and give them A LOT of money. That is the main core of this film, one man taking something that hasn’t been seen in billions of years and using it as a money grab. The character of John Hammond is more horrible than the killer dinos, at least the T-Rex had a reason to kill…its in his nature, not his fault he was suddenly birthed in a world that couldn’t handle his sharp jaws and small arms.

I feel like Jurassic Park is one of the few films that deserves to have its life revisited every “anniversary” period. Its both a great silver screen adventure and nostalgic look back to a time where the idea of a fully CGI dinosaur was something to be thought about.

I give it an NINE out of a TEN, on the scale of film merit and overall quality.

But I also give it a RAAAAAAAAAAAWR out of TEN, on the scale of how deservedly so that damn lawyer deserved to be eaten after deserting the kids when the T-Rex showed up.

Stub Review – Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead

 The horror classic…remade for a new generation.

I saw Evil Dead when it first came out a few weeks ago and per usual, it takes me a little bit to sit down and write my review just cause I put stuff off. But this time, it was a mixture of reality and health. I spent the last few days in the hospital for some long standing medical issues and the news has been full of images of real life horror and terror in the constant updates of the Boston Marathon Bombings and the manhunt for the suspects.

So in these times, who really wants to write about horror film? Well I thought it be a good idea to just get lost back into the idea of FICTIONAL horror instead of keeping my eyes glued on the REAL horror that is outside our doors.

The original Evil Dead film is classic, not for its production skills, but for its practical style. It was made on a shoestring budget and helped launch the careers of director Sam Raimi and actor Bruce Campbell. The lore of the original Evil Dead trilogy turn from “serious” horror into more slapstick comedy-horror by the time of the third film, The Army of Darkness. This remake though took the idea behind the original film, just a independent style, gore, practical effect style horror film.

Typically I hate horror films. There are only a select few that I like, mainly being something like Evil Dead, Scream, or any time of 90’s slasher film. It is because when I watch something like Saw it bugs me to no end to see the torture style murdering, but when it’s done in the universe of Evil Dead, it just is a good time, cause there is always an underlining sense of humor to it all.

This Evil Dead film not only takes the heart of the original into mind, but keeps with the unsettling horror of today’s genre. The prosthetic work is amazing, the make up on the Mia character after she becomes possessed is both perfectly done and horrifying to look at. The film doesn’t blink an eye at in your face gory stuff (the now infamous tongue cut comes into mind) and uses some of those uncomfortable moments to gain some natural laughs.

All in all, it’s a worthy successor of the original Evil Dead trilogy and while I still hope to see Bruce Campbell come back to the big screen as Ash one day, I also hope to see this new hero in Mia blaze her own trail in future films.

I give it an EIGHT out of a TEN, on the scale of film merit and overall quality.

But I also give it a GROOVY out of TEN, on the scale of how awesome THIS AFTER CREDIT SCENE would have been if they kept it in.

Top Ten…Animated Disney/Pixar Films!~

Top Ten … Animated Disney/Pixar Films!~

This is a personal list, so it is not my view what should be seen as the end all be all for Disney animated films, just my personal viewing.

10) The Little Mermaid

Now if this list was created by my Disney-Fanatic girlfriend, The Little Mermaid would rank as #1, but this isn’t her list, it’s my list. Speaking of her…in case any of you would like to read about her love of Disney and running you can do so at The Final Forty [/ShamelessPlug] But for me The Little Mermaid was the first Disney film I ever saw. It came out in 1989, making me around 3 years old and my parents took me to see it, cause it’s a cartoon and I’m a little kid, so that math equals success for parents looking for an hour and half of rest. I didn’t get the meaning of the film; the only thing to resonate with me was the color, the animation and amazingly catchy songs.

9) Beauty and the Beast

Starting to catch a trend with these early two films? I’m a child of the 90’s, more so, I’m the generation of the Disney Renaissance. The time period of when Disney came back into prominence and regained control of being THE cartoon film company. Not only where their films making big money, but also putting out hit soundtracks, critical praise, and countless merchandise. Beauty and the Beast was the FIRST and still ONLY 2D animated feature film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. There is no mistake in that nomination, the film might be looked back at a story of Stockholm syndrome, but the music is fun, the story is engaging, and at the end of the day, Beauty and the Beast is a timeless classic that got the Disney treatment, which will live on and be the measuring stick of that classic tale.

8) Wreck-It Ralph

If there is anything that defines a little boys childhood, or at least the little boys childhood that I once knew of and grew up with, it was cartoons and video-games. They didn’t always go hand in hand, sometimes they did, where there were some awesome video-games based off of cartoons, but rarely are there great video-game adaptations. But who knew the key was to adapt a fake game with hints of real ones to unlock the secret. Wreck-It Ralph is a simple story about a villain that wants to be a hero and his journey of getting that medal of success and the different style video-game characters along his journey.

7) Up

That is all that needs to be said. That nearly ten minute love story about Carl and Ellie is probably the greatest example of Pixar’s talent at its absolute best. Smart, funny, touching, beautiful, and ultimately heart breaking.

6) A Goofy Movie

This one stands out, because its not really a timeless classic like Beauty and the Beast, nor is it a Pixar classic, but this film to be was both in the sense classic Disney animation, mixed with new life. You had Goofy, a staple of Disney animation for over nearly 50 years at the point when this film came out and his son Max. This film ties in with the greatly underrated Disney cartoon series Goof Troop in terms of nostalgia overload for me. You have the simple story of a dad trying to relate and connect with his teenage son on a road trip, while the son is just trying to impress a girl. Disney takes the simple stories and make them great by the characters. Throw in a few catching songs, this is a very overlooked treasure hiding in the Disney vault.

5) Toy Story 3

What Toy Story meant to the 9 year old version of me, Toy Story 3 meant just as much to 24 year old version of myself. I knew from the get go because its Pixar, because its Toy Story, because its Woody and Buzz…this film was going to get to me on a personal and emotional level. It was about Andy growing up and leaving for college and leaving that part of himself that use to play with toys and …I know that. We lived that. Where at one point, playing with your toys just isn’t the priority anymore in life like it was when you were a kid. But it was much more, it was about how serious this film was, how when a bunch of CGI created characters come together, hold hands in the face of death and accept it…accept their fate and demise…and this happened in a “kids” film. That’s what Pixar does, they let you think you know what you want and then kick you in the stomach and tell you what you will accept and when you will cry like a baby.

4) The Lion King

For the longest period of time The Lion King was the highest grossing film out of all its animated features. By now you should be tired of hearing me saying “amazing songs” but during its renaissance period of the late 80’s to early 00’s, it felt like every animated movie came along with a hit soundtrack and amazing songs. Lion King is no different, but what I think separated TLK from all the other films was the story, an unique adaptation of Hamlet told with lions. Everyone shed a tear at the death of Mufasa. Everyone was talking about “Hakuna Matata” and how it meant no worries on the playground. And everyone secretly loved evil and devilish (and slightly gay) Scar and his Nazi-hyena army.

3) Wall-E

I was almost in awe after watching Wall-E in the theater. I knew instantly that I saw something that was not only creative film-making at its most imaginative, but something special that connected with me. I always wonder how people realize when a film is special enough to be their “favorite of all time” is it after one viewing? After many? Is it the characters or the writing? It was all of it for this film. This movie is 50% silent film and 50% futuristic robotic love story and it shouldn’t work, but it does. A mostly silent animated film shouldn’t work in today’s quick cutting world of film-making, but it does and it will live on for its beautiful imagery and characters.

2) Toy Story

Toy Story was my introduction to Pixar and I feel like that makes it even more special. Kids no a days have a catalog of about 12-13 Pixar films to watch at any given time. You grow up during the 2000’s when Pixar was hitting their stride of film-making, you could be introduced to any of the great ones…but my first introduction to Pixar and CGI animation was the measuring stick…it was Toy Story. It’s the most simple idea in the world and the one that resonates with kids and adults, what if your toys came to life when you weren’t around? That’s it, you didn’t need some over the top plot to pull the people in, just great writing and great voice acting. Woody and Buzz will live beyond the lives of the people that created them, because they are timeless characters.

01) Aladdin

Aladdin will always be my number one and it is just because… it was the first Disney film I remember connecting with. Aladdin came out in 1992, making me six years old and just the perfect age to watch (of the time) cutting edge special effects blended into traditional animation. Watching a flying carpet, a pop culture spewing genie and one of many Disney timeless love stories between a street rat and a princess. The songs are catchy; Princess Jasmine is unlike other princess where she strong female character that isn’t in desperate search of love, but just wanting freedom. Aladdin is the first time that young boys watching Disney films really had a true lead male character to connect with. I even dig the direct to video sequels that followed.

Stub Review – G.I. Joe: Retaliation

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson helps add some action to the franchise that nobody cared for…

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra came out of nowhere and that is not in a good way, it was a film that from the start everyone had pegged to be a bomb, which it was…critically, but made back enough of its budget and then some to be considered a box office success. And if there is anything that can be taught to the most novice of film goers it is…IF YOUR MOVIE MAKES MONEY, HOLLYWOOD WILL GIVE YOU A SEQUAL!

The first movie didn’t impress people or light up the box office as did the OTHER Hasbro film franchise, that shall not be named, or you will be cursed with the memories of that film cancer. But there were a few things it did get right, the idea that Joes are military trained and work with the type of vehicles and artillery that can only be thought up by a toy company…which is where GI Joe originated from.

Never Doubt The Badassery of The Rock

Skip a few years later and exit 95% of the original GI Joe cast sans for Channing Tatum (Duke), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Jonathan Pryce ( POTUS), Byung-hun Lee (Storm Shadow), and Arnold Vosloo (Zartan). But what was dropped was more that necessary for who was added, The Rock (Roadblock), Bruce Willis (Joe), Ray Stevenson (Firefly), and Adrianne Palicki (Lady Jaye). While this isn’t a cast that will go and light up box office season, they are still a vast improvement over … Marlon Waynes.

This script wont win any awards, but for a pre-summer blockbuster film, it isn’t suppose too. What you need is exposition, action, and witty one-liners and Retaliation delivers in droves. Now with all of that, this might be sounding like an uber positive review…it isn’t. While this film is not horrible to the degree of the first movie or ANY of the other Hasbro film creations of the past few years, it isn’t the Avengers style knock-your-socks-off type adventure that you’d be hoping for.

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!

The action is enjoyable and diverse, where you can go anywhere from a desert scene firefight, to mountain side ninja duel, or high speed boat battle. What is most impressive addition to the film is The Rock without question, he just brings a charm and much needed badassery (it’s a word…maybe).

My biggest problem with the film though is that it felt just … ok. There was such room to make it more fun, take itself a little less serious and just be an all out action blockbuster film, but it falls shorts. It’s a bad sign when before the film starts, I get blown away by the Fast & Furious 6 trailer (also staring The Rock) and the feature film that follows can’t live up to that two minute teaser.

I give it a SIX out of TEN, on the merit of film quality and action.

But I also give it a SE—IT DOESN”T MATTER WHAT GRADE I GIVE IT out of TEN, for how amazing The Rock is when he is in badass mode.

The Jersey Critic: Season 2!~

As you could tell, my last post coming days after Hurricane Sandy back in October of 2012, it has been FIVE months since I have updated this blog.

Now that isn’t for a lack of ideas, I always have ideas to keep this place busy and speak about, plenty of top ten lists I want to do and I have seen LOADS of films since Paranormal Activity 4.

But it was more of a personal break than professional one. But this isn’t a blog about my life, it is a blog about films, television, comics…and prostitution. At least that’s what the original tag line was to the blog.

So consider this the Season 2 return of The Jersey Critic, more features, more posts, maybe even some surprises. But don’t hold me to that. I aint no magician, I can’t even user proper grammar. Did you see that use of “aint” before, less surprises from me, the better.

Oh and if you are reading this somehow and AREN’T subscribed to this blog, shame on you. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!

Next Blog Post: G.I Joe Retaliation or How I lived Through The Oscar Season and Now Can’t Wait for the Summer Blockbusters!~