Tag Archives: Machete Kills

Stub Review Rundown

Stub Review Rundown

I know I said I would stop, but I kinda like the idea of the rundown working for my advantage of helping me review the weekends worth of films in a precise manner, while I save my full on Stub-Reviews for important films that I have something real to say about them.

This past few weekends brought forth a wide arrange of films, many starting big names and many different style plots taking us from the online poker world to the vast space above our heads.

Captain Phillips – 8/10

Paul Greengrass both delivers his standard visual direction in addition to one of Tom Hank’s best performances in over a decade. This film throws you right back into remembering why Hanks is one of the best actors of any generation, his Boston accent is a bit shaky, but other than that, he gives a top to bottom award winning performance as Phillips. But while this is based on a true story and you might know the outcome already, it doesn’t stop you from being at the edge of your seat the entire way, the first half of the film is already suspenseful, but the final half is where it really picks up and you almost just lose yourself waiting for what will be the tipping point for the ending.

Machete Kills – 7/10

This is just pure grind-house entertainment once again from Robert Rodriguez. Now with the first Machete movie, I thought was ok, but got boring in the middle and had large stretches where it was more talking than Machete chopping up people. All the criticism I had with that film is fixed with Kills, RR has a plot that is quick and loose and just focuses on the fun over the top violence, beautiful women, and great Z-grade fun of an exploitation movie. I really hope they make a third one, cause the previews for it in this film makes it look so freakin over the top it would be a great way to cap off the trilogy.

Carrie – 5/10

I haven’t watched the original in a while, but even going off what I remember of Brian de Palma’s original version, just just feels very watered down. If not for a copule of curse words and not even a lot, just a handful, this movie is easily a PG-13 film. Cause there is no nudity or real violence, just very old school in the sense of a violent film. Chloe Moretz is really great though, when you know her so well as Hit-Girl which is a very stand out type character that isn’t shy and is very brash, she completely goes 180 and becomes this shy, lonely character and you buy it. Julianne Moore as the crazy Christian mother was good too.

Escape Plan – 7/10

I fuckin dug this movie. It is completely bonkers in terms of sensible plot, but its Arnie and Sly teaming up and actually having fun working off each other. It gives you everything you wanted from two 80’s action stars, you get one liners, lot of violence, both guys kicking ass, and lots of cursing. I like the Expendable movies, but I think this is better version of what Sly tried to do with those films.

Bad Grandpa – 7/10

On one hand its a great and funny movie by Jackass’ standards. I think its the best thing the group has done since the first Jackass film and all the gags pack a laugh and the situations are funny and its interesting to watch them do a prank film but also have a narrative toward it…but on the other hand, all the best gags are given away in the trailer. Except for one prank, all the best ones are given away and you already know the joke with the good ones cause of the trailer.

The Counselor – 4/10

Cormac McCarthy delivers his first screenplay in a film that feels like it wants to be just as good and just as interesting as No Country For Old Men, but just never lives up to that measuring stick. So many scenes that have no purpose to them and just feel like moments that McCarthy just thought up on the fly and decided to put in. Do we really need to see Cameron Diaz have sex with a car? A lot of talk was about the violence of the film, but it doesn’t feel any worse or gorey than the typical Rated-R horror film, actually pretty tame. All the big name actors are ok, nobody is amazing, just the type of film where I was looking at the time every so often wondering how much longer this film was going to be.

Enders Game – 7/10

I never read the book its based off of …or any of the books in that series to be honest. I knew of all the “controversy” regarding its author and his stupid ideals regarding homosexuality…but none of that should matter when it comes to a movie. Going in clean, I was surprised about how much I was waiting for the “training” be over, just because in any other type of military style film, training always last the smallest and then you are thrown into war, but here, war isn’t just another stage but something to take seriously. Most of the young actors do a good job, Harrison Ford does a great job of balancing a mentor and a general at the same time. THe ending does hold a bit of a morality question, regarding the importance of “winning” a war.

Last Vegas – 6/10

Although it was just an excuse to get four well known actors together for a buddy picture, Last Vegas is still easily a better comedy than the last two Hangover sequels. It plays it pretty straight forward with the plot, but all the actors have a lil something to do in the film and all seem to be having a good time. It was enjoyable to see Morgan Freeman really cut loose for once and have a comedic performance, while Kline and De Niro both do their usual thing as well.

…so yeah those are my thoughts and tonight I’m going to see Thor: The Dark World…so expect that review sometime this weekend!