Stub Review – Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead

 The horror classic…remade for a new generation.

I saw Evil Dead when it first came out a few weeks ago and per usual, it takes me a little bit to sit down and write my review just cause I put stuff off. But this time, it was a mixture of reality and health. I spent the last few days in the hospital for some long standing medical issues and the news has been full of images of real life horror and terror in the constant updates of the Boston Marathon Bombings and the manhunt for the suspects.

So in these times, who really wants to write about horror film? Well I thought it be a good idea to just get lost back into the idea of FICTIONAL horror instead of keeping my eyes glued on the REAL horror that is outside our doors.

The original Evil Dead film is classic, not for its production skills, but for its practical style. It was made on a shoestring budget and helped launch the careers of director Sam Raimi and actor Bruce Campbell. The lore of the original Evil Dead trilogy turn from “serious” horror into more slapstick comedy-horror by the time of the third film, The Army of Darkness. This remake though took the idea behind the original film, just a independent style, gore, practical effect style horror film.

Typically I hate horror films. There are only a select few that I like, mainly being something like Evil Dead, Scream, or any time of 90’s slasher film. It is because when I watch something like Saw it bugs me to no end to see the torture style murdering, but when it’s done in the universe of Evil Dead, it just is a good time, cause there is always an underlining sense of humor to it all.

This Evil Dead film not only takes the heart of the original into mind, but keeps with the unsettling horror of today’s genre. The prosthetic work is amazing, the make up on the Mia character after she becomes possessed is both perfectly done and horrifying to look at. The film doesn’t blink an eye at in your face gory stuff (the now infamous tongue cut comes into mind) and uses some of those uncomfortable moments to gain some natural laughs.

All in all, it’s a worthy successor of the original Evil Dead trilogy and while I still hope to see Bruce Campbell come back to the big screen as Ash one day, I also hope to see this new hero in Mia blaze her own trail in future films.

I give it an EIGHT out of a TEN, on the scale of film merit and overall quality.

But I also give it a GROOVY out of TEN, on the scale of how awesome THIS AFTER CREDIT SCENE would have been if they kept it in.

Stub Review: The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin In The Woods

So a stoner, geek, whore, jock, and virgin walk into a cabin…

So lets run with those horror film stereotypes for a second and see how they usually work out in any horror film. Well off the bat, the “whore” and “jock” are automatically an item. The whore is most likely a blonde (making the virgin a brunette) and she and the jock will be throwing around their sexuality ad nauseum around the others. The stoner is the obvious loner type with no female companion…besides his joint, as he cracks hysterics and usually realizes the trouble sooner than the others. The geek and virgin are connected because of their outsider personalities…and will probably be ridiculed by the jock and whore to hook up or stand punishment of their puns and quips about virginity and penis entering vagina’s.

So enter Joss Whedon.

The geek god known as the creator of such cult classics like Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, and Firefly. His skilled writing isn’t only chained to television, he has penned many successful comic books like “The Astonishing X-Men” and “Buffy: TVS – Season 8”. He is known for not only for keeping his thumb of the pulse of pop culture, but also writing strong women roles. He will quickly become infamously known as the director of The Avengers in a month’s time, but right now he still is somewhat tucked under the carpet of nerdism. So when you give someone like Joss Whedon the standard and honestly, tired and worn out scenario of a “Cabin in the Woods horror film”….what do you expect, other than a genre bending, one step ahead of you adventure.

You would except the film to play out like a modern day Evil Dead…but no, Whedon from the start throws you a curve by sending you into a government style facility, where men played brilliantly by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford are talking about some set up and are speaking in such a way that you the viewer have no idea what is happening. And from there on, you the viewer are slowly realizing that we are not set in modern day, while it is never spoken in the film there are various hints that the setting of this film is taking place way in the future. We get the typical “cabin in the woods” horror set up as these kids are looking for a fun weekend, while the evil government is betting on the way they will die. Will it be Werewolf? Zombies? Merman? … NO, it’s cannibalistic inbred hillbilly Zombies…which are different then regular zombies, trust me.

What Joss brings to this film in his writing ins un-expectability. When  you are ready for something to happen…it doesn’t, when you feel safe…you aren’t, and when you feel like you know what the overall story is…you have no fuckin’ idea. I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone who hasn’t seen it, cause if you take away anything from this movie than it is this, the final 30 minutes of the film is one of the most exciting, mind blowing, entertaining and just pure fun you will every see. It gives you a nice bow on the story, while giving you all the carnage and dark humor you can handle. My girlfriend who I attended the film with, who was pretty not impressed with the overall film, thought it was alright, but when that last 30 minutes came…she was hooked. It is a great finale for a film.

I give it a SEVEN out of a TEN, on the merit of film quality and overall quality.

But I also give it a HUGE GIANT SNAKE out of TEN, on the scale of how fuckin’ amazing those last thirty minutes were.

Top Ten…Movie Trilogies!

Top Ten…Movie Trilogies!

*If there is one thing I love more than talking about movies, its making lists ABOUT movies…or anything in general. No greater good in this world (bar my g/f) gives me more pleasure than an awesome top ten list.

 

I’ll get it out in the opening here…Lord of the Rings is not on this list. It’s not because it’s not a good movie or well acted or great looking, its because I haven’t seen any of the films past the first one, which I fell asleep during…TWICE. So no dice on the hobbits. The only other rule is that no film series can have a sequel to it and still be a trilogy on this list, so that means no Indiana Jones or Scream.

10) Chris Nolan’s Batman Trilogy                                                                 (Batman Begins –Rating: 85% The Dark Knight –Rating: 94% The Dark Knight Rises –Rating: ???)

Alright…so I am starting my trilogy top ten list with a trilogy that hasn’t even been completed yet. Alright, but it’s my list, so go fuck yourself. It’s Batman, I dare you to go and tell Batman his films don’t belong on top trilogy list and see if he doesn’t hold you off a building and make you pray to him. The only reason it’s number 10 is because only two films have come out, but they both are amazing films and it’s REALLY hard to imagine that Nolan will fuck it up with a horrible third outing, especially with the key players they have in place with Bane, Catwoman and Ra’s Al Ghul returning. Two amazing films that are both completely different from each other, the amazement and wonder to what The Dark Knight Rises will bring is eating me alive.

09) X-Men Trilogy                                                                                                 (Average RT Rating: 75%)

The X-Men trilogy is the lowest ranking percentage-wise bunch of films on this list and a lot of that has to do with the beating that X3 took by critics and most fans. I’m on the other side of the fence when it comes to X3, found it to be a fun action flick that takes major liberties with characters, but that doesn’t bore you. X1 is a standard jumping off film that really spends all of it delving into the origins of these mutants and their roles in life. X2 is the finest of the bunch, one of the all time great opening film moments with Nightcrawler in the White House and one of the best endings of the Phoenix rising.

08) The Evil Dead Trilogy                                                                                   (Average RT Rating: 89%)

While there are talks of remaking the first Evil Dead, there will never be another experience like seeing that original, gritty, and raw film for the first time. Our hero Ash and camp of clueless kids open up a book in a cabin…and all hell breaks loose. It’s not so much about its story, because Raimi does a better job of re-doing the film in his sequel, but it’s about the love of slapstick comedy and horror that Evil Dead gets right. Ash is one of those great protagonists that has the attitude of an antagonist. He’s badass, he has one normal hand and one chainsaw hand, he carries a boomstick and when he finds a situation to be exciting, it is in the best sense of a word…”Groovy.” That is why these films are groovy, because you can sit back with popcorn and an open mind and watch a filmmaker have fun.

07) Spider-Man Trilogy                                                                                   (Average RT Rating: 81%)

Is it pure coincidence that Sam Raimi holds back-to-back spots on this list? Probably not…but could these two trilogies of his be any further a part…or maybe they are closer than you think.  Ok, so I might be more unbiased when it comes to Spider-Man just because of my personal feelings toward the character and the films, but I have always thought that the first film, along with X-Men, helped set the comic book boom of the 00’s. Spider-Man 2 in my mind is still one, if not the greatest comic book film and that the third film, while not on the level of excellence of the first two, still is more of a “Spider-Man Film” than just a “Spider-Man Film” The moment with Spidey and Green Goblin fighting from the Brooklyn Bridge to the warehouse in the first film, Doc. Ock vs. Spidey on the train from the second and well the birth of Sandman in the third are all really fantastic and stand out moments for me. Tobey Macguire brought something equally important to both the roles of Peter Parker and Spider-Man; hopefully we get more of the same from Andrew Garfield and his portrayal.

06) The Dollars Trilogy                                                                                  (Average RT Rating: 96%)

This would probably be higher on most people’s lists, but for me the ones that out rank these films are for a more personal reason. But out of respect to Clint Eastwood’s amazing portrayal of “The Man With No Name” and the superb direction Sergio Leone, I have to give The Dollars Trilogy its due at number six. If you don’t like westerns, you wont like these movies, but if you have any inkling of a love for the Italian west than you are in store for a treat. This film is a big inspiration for the great directors of today like Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino. To watch these films is not so much to enjoy a western movie, but to partake in film history and experience the knowledge of excellent film making on its highest level.

05) The Jason Bourne Trilogy                                                                                     (Average RT Rating: 86%)

Won’t make any friends when I say this, but fuck it, Jason Bourne movies are better than James Bond films. There, I said it. In three progressively great films, Jason Bourne played by Matt Damon gives something to the spy genre that its been dying of for ages…a shot of adrenaline, hand-to-hand combat, and car chases that don’t need rockets or parachutes to make them exciting. In Identity, we are introduced to Bourne, in Supremacy we up the ante with a pissed off Bourne looking for answers, and in the supremely Ultimatum, we find Jason Bourne getting those answers and making people pay for turning him into a killing machine. Three movies rejuvenated a dead genre in such a way that even good ol’ 007 had to take the formula and run with their new films.

04) Back to the Future Trilogy                                                                                (Average RT Rating: 77%)

For the life of me I can’t understand how this trilogy has a low rating as a whole. I know the critics and some fans have problems with BTTF III, but out of the three movies, the second trip Back to the Future was the lowest rank, while I find it to be the second best of the film. It’s really hard for me to go and pick from the first two films, because the first film is so utterly classic with lines, moments, characters, and set-up, while the sequel comes and takes all that and adds to it and turns it on its head at the same time. The third film is just great if you like westerns and love foreshadowing, as everything you get in BTTF III you been told about in BTTF II. Marty McFly might be one of the best underachieving characters in film history, and even though he isn’t a mad scientist to the exact definition of the word, how do you not like Doc Brown?

03) The Original Star Wars Trilogy                                                                           (Average RT Rating: 90%)

Now in my introduction tot his list, I said no series that had four or more films to its name would be included…so I’m kinda bending my own rules here, so let’s say I don’t count prequels, because god knows nobody does when it comes to The Original Trilogy. Obi Wan, Yoda, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Luke, Chewi, Darth Vader, C3-P0 and R2-D2. These are all characters that have become so part of Americana and film history, and it were these three films that introduced them to the world. The first Star Wars was an Oscar Nominated Best Picture and probably right up there with 2001: A Space Odyssey as one of the pioneer and most influential sci-fi/space pictures of all time. And how do you follow that up? … with only one of the greatest sequels in cinema history, The Empire Strikes Back.  Maybe Return of the Jedi introduced us to Ewoks, but they are welcomed addition as long as nothing named Jar-Jar Binks is even mentioned in this trilogy. While Lucas has been altering and editing his original trilogy for the past decade or so to mixed reviews, it still holds up as one of the most important movie trilogies to one specific genre.

02) The Godfather Trilogy                                                                                (Average RT Rating: 88%)

Now as important as the Star Wars trilogy is important to a genre, The Godfather trilogy and films are cinema royalty. You want to know how important the first two Godfather films are? Ask anyone to rank the top 10 greatest films of all time, without a doubt The Godfather Pt. I and II rank in that top five…maybe even top three. They are that important to film. Not only did Godfather pt. I win Best Picture…Godfather Pt. II became the ONLY film sequel to win Best Picture along with its original. Now while a lot of accolade and acclaim goes to the first two films, many people love to over look the subtle greatness and pure agony of Pacino’s Corleone in the third film. We see a stripped down Michael with no more family to call his own, left with his own sins and just left to die a meaningless and lonely death. You can easily overlook Sofia Coppolla’s horrible acting for the poignant acting by Pacino and Diane Keaton.

01) Toy Story Trilogy                                                                                       (Average RT Rating: 99%)

How did a CGI animated film of a bunch of toys coming to life when nobody is around beat out Star Wars…Godfather…Back to the Future and the rest of this list? Well, heart. It is because of the people that work at Pixar that Toy Story films are some of the most entertaining and heart-warming films there are. They are simple in concept — who as a child never thought that their toys came to life when they weren’t around? But the stories that are told — abandonment, feeling left out, feeling replaceable, and the overwhelming sense of your death — are all formulas of this trilogy. When the first Toy Story came out in 1995 I was hooked. A few years later I was more than ecstatic to see not only a sequel…but a rare Disney sequel that wasn’t horrible, but quite the opposite, extraordinary. Then I had to wait more than a decade for the third film, which by the end had me in tears. These films aren’t for kids, they are for all audiences of all ages, because Toy Story is more than just an animated film…and the trilogy is a collection of cinema art at its highest level.