Stub Review: The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin In The Woods

So a stoner, geek, whore, jock, and virgin walk into a cabin…

So lets run with those horror film stereotypes for a second and see how they usually work out in any horror film. Well off the bat, the “whore” and “jock” are automatically an item. The whore is most likely a blonde (making the virgin a brunette) and she and the jock will be throwing around their sexuality ad nauseum around the others. The stoner is the obvious loner type with no female companion…besides his joint, as he cracks hysterics and usually realizes the trouble sooner than the others. The geek and virgin are connected because of their outsider personalities…and will probably be ridiculed by the jock and whore to hook up or stand punishment of their puns and quips about virginity and penis entering vagina’s.

So enter Joss Whedon.

The geek god known as the creator of such cult classics like Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, and Firefly. His skilled writing isn’t only chained to television, he has penned many successful comic books like “The Astonishing X-Men” and “Buffy: TVS – Season 8”. He is known for not only for keeping his thumb of the pulse of pop culture, but also writing strong women roles. He will quickly become infamously known as the director of The Avengers in a month’s time, but right now he still is somewhat tucked under the carpet of nerdism. So when you give someone like Joss Whedon the standard and honestly, tired and worn out scenario of a “Cabin in the Woods horror film”….what do you expect, other than a genre bending, one step ahead of you adventure.

You would except the film to play out like a modern day Evil Dead…but no, Whedon from the start throws you a curve by sending you into a government style facility, where men played brilliantly by Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford are talking about some set up and are speaking in such a way that you the viewer have no idea what is happening. And from there on, you the viewer are slowly realizing that we are not set in modern day, while it is never spoken in the film there are various hints that the setting of this film is taking place way in the future. We get the typical “cabin in the woods” horror set up as these kids are looking for a fun weekend, while the evil government is betting on the way they will die. Will it be Werewolf? Zombies? Merman? … NO, it’s cannibalistic inbred hillbilly Zombies…which are different then regular zombies, trust me.

What Joss brings to this film in his writing ins un-expectability. When  you are ready for something to happen…it doesn’t, when you feel safe…you aren’t, and when you feel like you know what the overall story is…you have no fuckin’ idea. I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone who hasn’t seen it, cause if you take away anything from this movie than it is this, the final 30 minutes of the film is one of the most exciting, mind blowing, entertaining and just pure fun you will every see. It gives you a nice bow on the story, while giving you all the carnage and dark humor you can handle. My girlfriend who I attended the film with, who was pretty not impressed with the overall film, thought it was alright, but when that last 30 minutes came…she was hooked. It is a great finale for a film.

I give it a SEVEN out of a TEN, on the merit of film quality and overall quality.

But I also give it a HUGE GIANT SNAKE out of TEN, on the scale of how fuckin’ amazing those last thirty minutes were.

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