Stub Review – G.I. Joe: Retaliation

GIJOEphotoG.I. Joe: Retaliation

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson helps add some action to the franchise that nobody cared for…

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra came out of nowhere and that is not in a good way, it was a film that from the start everyone had pegged to be a bomb, which it was…critically, but made back enough of its budget and then some to be considered a box office success. And if there is anything that can be taught to the most novice of film goers it is…IF YOUR MOVIE MAKES MONEY, HOLLYWOOD WILL GIVE YOU A SEQUAL!

The first movie didn’t impress people or light up the box office as did the OTHER Hasbro film franchise, that shall not be named, or you will be cursed with the memories of that film cancer. But there were a few things it did get right, the idea that Joes are military trained and work with the type of vehicles and artillery that can only be thought up by a toy company…which is where GI Joe originated from.

Never Doubt The Badassery of The Rock

Never Doubt The Badassery of The Rock

Skip a few years later and exit 95% of the original GI Joe cast sans for Channing Tatum (Duke), Ray Park (Snake Eyes), Jonathan Pryce ( POTUS), Byung-hun Lee (Storm Shadow), and Arnold Vosloo (Zartan). But what was dropped was more that necessary for who was added, The Rock (Roadblock), Bruce Willis (Joe), Ray Stevenson (Firefly), and Adrianne Palicki (Lady Jaye). While this isn’t a cast that will go and light up box office season, they are still a vast improvement over … Marlon Waynes.

This script wont win any awards, but for a pre-summer blockbuster film, it isn’t suppose too. What you need is exposition, action, and witty one-liners and Retaliation delivers in droves. Now with all of that, this might be sounding like an uber positive review…it isn’t. While this film is not horrible to the degree of the first movie or ANY of the other Hasbro film creations of the past few years, it isn’t the Avengers style knock-your-socks-off type adventure that you’d be hoping for.



The action is enjoyable and diverse, where you can go anywhere from a desert scene firefight, to mountain side ninja duel, or high speed boat battle. What is most impressive addition to the film is The Rock without question, he just brings a charm and much needed badassery (it’s a word…maybe).

My biggest problem with the film though is that it felt just … ok. There was such room to make it more fun, take itself a little less serious and just be an all out action blockbuster film, but it falls shorts. It’s a bad sign when before the film starts, I get blown away by the Fast & Furious 6 trailer (also staring The Rock) and the feature film that follows can’t live up to that two minute teaser.

I give it a SIX out of TEN, on the merit of film quality and action.

But I also give it a SE—IT DOESN”T MATTER WHAT GRADE I GIVE IT out of TEN, for how amazing The Rock is when he is in badass mode.


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