Stub Review: Ted


 Ever wonder what a live action Family Guy episode would look like?

Well if you ever did, go see Ted and bam, you got yourself a live action Family Guy episode. Now that can be taken as both a slam against the film, but also praise of it, because just like Family Guy, it is both hated and loved by the same people.

The people that live and die by Family Guy will love Ted. Kids in college that do nothing but smoke dope, watch cartoon network, and think that because they are 19 years old, that they know everything about EVERYTHING aka douchebags.

Now don’t get me wrong, Family Guy is enjoyable. The early seasons before it got cancelled the first time was amazing. South Park and Simpson’s style of groundbreaking animation. But when it came back…it because a character of its self. Pop culture references, throw away gags, shock for the sack of controversy, and tired jokes. You see that every week on Family Guy and that is the same formula for Ted.

Story is simple, little kid with no friends wished that his teddy bear would come to life and be his BFF! It happens because of… magic? I don’t know, they never really say why, but Ted comes to life and they are forever friends, Marky Mark and this teddy bear smoke weed, drink, curse, and never truly grow up. At least Marky Mark doesn’t, Ted is just a teddy bear, so what reason does he have to grow up?

So we get the usual fan fare that comes with a FG episode. Want pop culture, Ted gives you an overly important subplot dealing with Flash Gordon. Want throw away gags, Ted delivers on that throughout the film Want shock? Watch a teddy bear fuck a bimbo and make racial stereotypes.

Ted is Family Guy incarnate, but just better acting. Mila Kunis is underused (kinda just like Family Guy as well) and Mark Whalberg is great. Sorta of a mix between his characters in The Other Guys and The Departed in the sense of humor style of rude, crude Boston guy. Ted is funny, but a stupid funny. Where you wont think of it or repeat lines like you would with a Borat, Austin Powers, or Hangover. But for an hour and half, you can forget your troubles and be indulged in a world of crazy, racism, sexism, drugs, and furry love.

I give it a SEVEN out of TEN, on the merit of film quality and comedy.

But I also give it a PETER GRIFFIN out of TEN, for how many times I just kept thinking of his character whenever Ted spoke.


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